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Step 9 AA: When to Make Amends and When Not to FHE Health

aa 12 step what is a living amends

The Twelve Steps are a set of guiding principles that are outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. These 12 Steps are used in addiction treatment to chart a course of action for people tackling alcohol dependence, drug addiction, and behavioral compulsions. In sum, when recovering alcoholics reach step nine, they are completely connected to their Higher Power. The steps ensure that those in recovery feel supported, safe, and secure in making the next step to freedom from addiction. Since its origin with AA, the 12-Step model has been adopted and altered by many groups to fit other programs—for addiction treatment and more.

aa 12 step what is a living amends

How Taking Responsibility Improves Recovery

  • This process is not about seeking forgiveness but about holding ourselves accountable and striving to make things right with hurt people from our past without regard for our own egos or self-interest.
  • It is vital to be honest, thorough, and accept guidance from both your sponsor and God.

Living amends bridges the gap between living in shame and regret and finding forgiveness. Living amends refers to making promises to the people in your life whom you’ve wronged or who have hurt you. These promises focus on rebuilding your relationship with a loved one and moving forward from the pain of the past. Living amends can help you rid yourself of the pain of guilt and the need to constantly say “I’m sorry” to the people you’ve wronged in your life. When a person has died, you can still make amends for your actions.

aa 12 step what is a living amends

Understanding the Impact of Addiction on Relationships

If they take my words for granted, sometimes, I take a break from talking. I don’t punish them with silence (although I Halfway house did do that in the past). Ninety percent of the time, I keep my mouth shut, but I am my son’s mother. I have a responsibility to parent him and speak out for his best interests.

Important Addiction Resources

  • Meeting with your sponsor regularly ensures that your list evolves as you grow in recovery, keeping you on track and spiritually grounded.
  • Communicating about the way you harmed others can evoke strong emotions.
  • The 8th Step becomes a path to freedom, preparing you to take meaningful action in Step 9 when the time is right.
  • Avoiding these people may feel like a way to protect yourself, but it only delays the healing process and keeps you trapped in guilt and unresolved emotions.
  • Feeling ashamed of past mistakes should not prevent you from making amends.
  • That’s why we have a comprehensive set of treatment providers and don’t charge for inclusion.

It has since been adopted as a model for a wide range of addiction mutual-help and self-help programs designed to help drive behavioral change. In addition to the original Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) group, various others now living amends definition exist, such as Narcotics Anonymous (NA) and Cocaine Anonymous (CA). Once you’ve apologized and acknowledged your wrongdoing, listen to the person and validate their feelings. This shows you understand how you hurt them and are willing to listen to their opinions and thoughts. Your loved ones deserve living amends from you, whether they are alive or if they have passed.

aa 12 step what is a living amends

However, some people are afraid of making amends because they don’t know what to say, how to start, or how others are going to respond. While everyone’s journey is different and you cannot control how others will respond there are ways to approach this step appropriately. Words will only go so far and remember that not everyone is quick to forgive and move on. A loved one might need time to accept amends and feel okay with it. The person may need to know the hurt will never be caused again before working on trust.

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)

  • One of the greatest regrets some people endure is not apologizing to a loved one for past wrongs before they die.
  • At Eudaimonia Recovery Homes, we provide personalized recovery support with comfortable sober living Austin, Houston, and Colorado Springs.
  • In fact, hearing from us might do little aside from rubbing salt on old wounds.

By tackling step nine, recovering alcoholics can be freed from their past, including addiction. Treatment programs that incorporate the twelve steps often emphasize a group dynamic where individuals find support and camaraderie. These step programs offer a sense of belonging and help establish a network of peers who understand the struggle and can provide support. It’s a model of treatment that’s not just about abstaining from alcohol; it’s about personal growth, making amends, and continuous self-assessment, fostering https://ecosoberhouse.com/ a transformative process that can last a lifetime. Having trust in something greater than yourself is considered essential for returning sanity in the unmanageable life of an addict.

aa 12 step what is a living amends

Dr. Bishop is also a certified open water scuba diver, he enjoys fishing, traveling, and hunting. Brie graduated as a high school valedictorian with a major in Health Technologies and continued her studies at Springfield Technical Community College with a focus on healthcare. She served in Operations and HR for a finance company for ten years, before returning to healthcare and eventually arriving at USR. Continue cleaning up the past by making the rest of your amends.

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